Senior Paeds Posting

Salam and good morning everybunny in ground holes,

Berdebu, berhabuk dan bersawang dah blog ni. Boleh dpt multiple trigger wheeze atau asthma ni.

This is my story.

I have just entered a new posting for this fifth year. It is senior paediatric posting. A legendary posting that every senior have passed down many stories to us. My friend that had pass this posting also tells different kind of grim, ruthless stories about it. 

Now im here to experience it myself.

First day was okay. It was great actually. We are anticipating this posting so much since the beginning of fifth year. Lecturer who was told to be very strict and fierce is very kind on that day.

Second day, some of us had make some mistakes. 

On 3rd day, we were scolded to our bones. It was 2 hours of gloomiest awkward, cringing situation. We were force to admit our mistakes. At the end, some of us admitted their mistakes. Me? No. Im just too coward to defend myself. Even i didnt do wrong. That was my thought.

My mind was full of why and if. If only we know what will happened we will be very very like VERY meticulous in what we are doing. We will make sure our comrades do their job so we will not be scolded together. If we just asking and confirming many times regarding our jobscope and tasks, these wouldnt happen. I became emotionally upset, i blame those who did wrong. I punished them by not talking to them for a whole day.

However, ifs are words of despair that you shouldnt keep.

When i was alone, i thought about it more. I became more angrier, cried and even laughed. All bipolar symptoms emerged. (Or is it disorganize behaviour?) I blame them more and more. I am regretting more and more.

But.

Suddenly, a thought strikes me. 

The lecturers did it for us. For our future.

For us to be a responsible later in our life. It was not really a big issue, but they make it a chaos so later we will be careful in our every actions. Even on little tiny minute things. 

Our jobs will involved other people lives. They didnt want us to be ignorant and irresponsible towards our jobs. 

Plus when one of our comrades did wrong a whole group will be mark as also at fault. Why? They want us to be a good teammates. When other did wrongly, correct them right away. Not just look at them and laugh at how silly they done it. 

No. We have to work as a team. Try completing our job ourselves but also make sure that everyone can do their job too. Give a helping hand when needed. So the patient life wouldnt be jeopardize. 

Now i understand. They didnt hate us. If not why would they become a lecturer. An educator. A teacher. It was really for us. Really.

Minggu pertama yang banyak pengajaran. Rasa macam dah ada MDD setiap hari. Dah lengkap semua kriteria. Makan pon sekali sehari. Mmg legend. Haha boleh kurus kalau setiap minggu macam ni.

Thats all for my new year post... waaaa dah tahun 2016. Lagi 6 bulan exam final aka professional 3 exam. Cuak... 

My new year resolutions? 

I will think about that later. Haha its too much and couldnt fit in one entry.   

Nevertheless, anyone who read this post please pray for us. Pray that we will be the best. The toughest. The kindest. The warmest. The best doctors in future. Doctors that people will believe in. To trust in. InshaAllah.

Wassalam.

FINAL YEAR

Assalamualaikum,

Ehem Ehem. *paroxysmal cough followed by whoop. Clears throat.

Agak lama blog ini menyepi tanpa sebarang post hasil nukilan sendiri. Nak kata busy, i dont think so. Selain dari baca buku dan pergi hospital dan hadir lecture dan misi memenuhkan logbook, i am not that busy actually. Plus aku tak suka sangat baca buku. True story. Nak kata letih, tak jugak. Lebih kepada perasaan malas. Lack of drive orang Melayu kata (baca: Malaysia) aku bukan racist. Dah berapa kali buka dashboard. Taip title. Termenung cari isi. Minimize Tab. Bukak KMPlayer. Lagu berdentum. Tutup laptop. Tidur. Haih Haih.

Alhamdulillah, Next 2 months I will be in 5th year aka final year. Cuak. Takut. Gementar. Excited. Hopeless. Fed up. Kerdil. Tak layak. Semua bercampur baur ibarat rojak buah ataupun ibarat bibimbap. yummeh. 

Rasa diri ni tak layak tu yang paling ketara. Iyelah.. sebelum ni bila dr tanya soalan tak boleh jawab, dimaafkan. 

"Itsokay, you are fourth year student. but you cannot pass if you didnt know this in your pro 3 exam"

kalau pasal skill klinikal pulak.

MO: "can you help me to do the pap smear?"

me: "sorry dr i didnt know how to do it." *sengih muka nak kena tumbuk

MO: "oh.. arent you a final year student?"

me: "no dr. we are fourth year" *sengih muka nak kena sepak

MO: "ohhh okay then. did you see any of your seniors?"

me: "ermm.. not sure dr.." *sengih lagi

MO: "okay2"

me: "errr sorry dr but can we observe the procedure?"

Haaaa tu je la pandai. Nak observe aje, padahal dah observe beribu kali masih ketar lutut nak buat. 

See. Kan dah cakap banyak perkara akan dimaafkan kalau masih bukan bergelar final year student.

Its too much responsibility.

Its too much burden.

To be A final year student. 

Sekarang masih rilek sebab masih berada di tahun ke 4. Elective Posting. Masih boleh guna ayat. 

"we are fourth year medical student.. bla.. bla.."

Tapi dalam masa 2 bulan lagi, title itu akan berubah.

Moga aku bersedia bila smapai waktunya.

Tapi bak kata kebanyakan pensyarah aku. The most important thing is to be a Safe Medical Doctor.

the end

Moga berjumpa lagi di lain kali.

Wassalam.

p/s: just finished blogwalking. i hope he will continue to write again. i really like his writing though.

Guys... Miss you.

This Life

Just how much is the world we live now worth?

Everything feel meaningless

Maybe I am little tired

What ideal should I visualize?

What hope should I embrace as I move on

The future is calling for us

Can you hear that voice now too

Even if it's something like the sparks of firework

That I can never catch hold of

Once more, once more,

I want to reach out with my hands

Everyone has their share of sorrow

But they also wish for a wonderful tomorrow

Just how much can I love this troubled world

When I lost my nerve?

-copypaste-

-codeblue-

Kuatkanlah

Assalamualaikum..

final exam (read: Pro exam) is on next monday. cuak. takut. menggeletar. semua bercampur baur ibarat rojak. dalam kepala dah berserabut ibarat ribut taufan melanda dan menerbangkan segala neuron-neuronku yang berselirat. ok, hiperbola. lebih tepat berserabut ibarat bilikku yang macam tongkang pecah. (mentang2 roommate asyik balik rumah. muhasabah.)

mohon doa dari semua agar segalanya lancar. doa doktor lembut hati dan murah markah. doa agar lidahku tidak terbelit-belit dan tergagap-gagap dalam menuturkan bahasa Omputeh.  doa agar bahasa pesakit mudah difahami. doa agar segala sign dan symptom mudah agar dapat ku tebak apa provisional diagnosisnya. doa agar signnya jelas tanpa complicated overlapping disease. doa agar diskusiku bersama doktor dapat ku terangkan dan rungkaikan dengan jelas.

dan yang paling penting, doakan agar aku tidak lupa siapa diriku sewaktu musim exam ini, aku hambaNYA.. bukan hamba pada peperiksaan.. doa agar ibadahku tidak kutinggalkan. doa agar bulan Rejab ini dapat aku manfaatkan.. doa agar aku semakin dekat pada pencipta sekalian alam... amin..
 
jujur aku mohon doa kalian... doa dari seorang sahabat buat sahabat.

akhirnya, mohon doa agar kami semua lulus dengan cemerlang..

sekian coretan di petang hari...

p/s: reminder to myself too, always take care of your iman.. <3
mock exam on friday. wish me luck guys~ =)

iklan : (awaiting moment. at last, korra breakup with mako. *evil laugh)

Tomorrow's Memories

Because I want to keep that sunset
that I saw with you forever
I reached out my hand many times
Trying to touch it in the memories
Because neither the same scenery nor the same feelings
Could come back again

We look back at those shining dreams of the past
Sadness will spill even in those brand new futures
And because it will soak our heart
Everyone will stop and lose track of it
In the midst of seasons that come and go
What colour of tomorrow that will we draw?
If we strongly believe and even more...
What colour of future would await us?

-thequizshow-

p/s: dear heart, please move on..

#prayforIM529 #prayforMH370

I Need To Know

I need to know these answers
I need to find my way
Seize my tomorrow
Learn my yesterday
I need to take these chances
Let all my feelings show
Can't tell what's waiting
Still I need to go

I need to know..

p/s: may Allah ease.. ^_^

The Start Of Something New

Assalamualaikum..

gambar tak ada kena mengena =P

how's everyone life? are they good? happy? what do they eat? today? yesterday? how about tomorrow? oooohhh... how tired I am. everyday, wondering about what my friends in Egypt are doing. I hate the feeling of missing everyone. I'm missed  that auntie which I meet everyday sitting on the stairs of Metro station on my way to university, I even missed that guy who work at Mahallabiah shop. I'm missed people who I didnt know anything about them except they are student at Kasr El-Ainy Medical School and except that we bumped into each other at the food kiosk, their faces became familiar to me.

Kenapa? kenapa aku dah tak boleh jumpa dan tanya khabar mereka semua? Sebab aku dah memilih untuk berada di Malaysia. Tiada sebab yang konkrit. Hanya kerana Istikharah dan hatiku yang berat di sini apabila ditawarkan untuk menyambung pelajaran di UPM. oh ya, dan juga menilai nasihat dari mereka yang berada di sekelilingku... Jika benar ini jalanku, ia akan mudah bagiku, bisik hati kecilku. namun, isi hatiku turut berat untuk meninggalkan bumi yang sudah kuanggap seperti tanah airku. tanah tempat aku menuntut ilmu yang tidak kudapati di tempat lain. ilmu dunia dan ilmu akhirat. tanah di mana aku belajar erti berkorban. belajar erti tolak-ansur dengan ahli rumah. belajar bersabar dengan berbagai kerenah penduduk setempat.... yang paling penting tanah di mana keluarga kedua ku berada. GENX. aku rindu kalian... RINDU. hanya itu yang bisa aku nukilkan.

Sekarang di tempat baru, suasana baru, kawan baru... in the mode of adapting myself. hmmm, banyak yang kena aku belajar. di Mesir, 3 tahun belajar Perubatan, tahun ketiga baru aku temui cara belajar yang terbaik untuk aku. di sini baru 2 bulan, aku masih tercari-cari gaya study yang paling sesuai untuk aku dengan sistem pembelajaran dan pengajaran yang terlalu berbeza dengan Mesir. mungkin sewaktu menjadi intern nanti baru jumpa kot... it's hard, yes. but don't matter how hard, i have to try right? i dont want to give up before trying my best and whatever i can do. people said 'it's better die trying than to give up before trying'. gaya macam susah sangat je. exaggerrated response maybe..ahhah!

doakan aku sahabat. doakan aku kawan. doakan kita semua. ikhlaskan niat dalam menuntut ilmu. jangan kedekut ilmu, kongsi dengan semua. mana tahu ilmu yang kita dapat tu salah, mereka boleh memperbetulkan. study hard, study smart. like dr Ng said to my groupmates 'work hard, you'll be paid'. semat dalam dada kemas2. jika anda tidak mendapat keputusan yang diinginkan. ingat, anda tidak gagal, cuma kejayaan belum datang kepada anda. nasihat untuk diri sendiri jugak.. bukan jugak, memang nasihat untuk diri sendiri. diri sendiri banyak kekurangan. banyak.

Allah yusahhil! think positive.. everyone have their own stories, i want to make mine really meaningful to me, and to others...

pesanan seorang rakan "always take care of your iman.." smile  =)

wallahua'lam....

p/s: I really cant accept guys who bad mouthed his friends to others, especially to the opposite gender. malu la sikit brother. all this while, i thought guys friendship is sacred. dont destroy my belief. sekian.